Patty Payne Pursues Career in Counseling

CONTACT: LISA GARRETT, EXT. 1506

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 6/26/2002
(By Lisa Garrett)

LAVONIA, GEORGIA --- Patty Payne's life changed the day she attended an AA meeting and made sobriety a priority.

"I was tired of living in that dark, empty space," said Payne, today 12 years clean, sober and chemical free, and a recent honor graduate of Piedmont College in Georgia. "I had struggled all my life," she said, adding that she came from a severely dysfunctional family. "I learned how to live from AA meetings. They taught me how to interact, and I started enjoying life."

That lifestyle change included enrolling in Tri-County Technical College where she pursued a GED more than a decade ago. She had dropped out of high school as a teenager and spent most of her adult life as a mother and homemaker. "I couldn't get a decent job so I decided to study for the GED and passed it. That really helped my self-esteem," she said.

"I wouldn't have had a chance without the comprehensive studies classes at Tri-County," said Payne, who spent the first year at Tri-County catching up. In 1994, Payne timidly walked into the first class, expecting to be the only 39-year-old freshman occupying a desk. "My stomach was turning, my palms were soaking wet. I was a nervous wreck. It was intimidating. It was my first college experience and that was enough in itself," she remembers.

"I truly was lost when I arrived, but I learned that instructors will help you with anything."

She found a support system via the Homemakers and Single Parents group, a campus support group comprised predominantly of women. "Ollie (Smith, the director) helped me to get involved with Rape Crisis Council volunteer work which helped me to see that counseling is truly what I wanted to do. Without Tri-County, I don't think I could have continued with college. Everyone cared, and the College has a wonderful academic support area," she said.

She was ready to face this new phase in her life because she conquered a demon that had dominated much of her adult life – an addiction to drugs and alcohol. March 2002 marked her 12th year of sobriety.

She credits a counselor with helping her to turn her life around in 1983 when she was living in Atlanta. "I found someone who could really help me. I'll never forget what he told me: 'I can't help you until you get clean.'"

Her first attendance at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Atlanta occurred by chance, she thought, and later discovered it to be a neighbor's way of getting her the help she desperately needed. "My friend asked me for a ride to an AA meeting, and I obliged. She asked me to sit in with her, and the next thing I knew I came to the sudden realization that they were talking about me. There had to be a better way. I made it a priority. My life has been uphill ever since," she said. She kept attending meetings and seeing the doctor, whom she calls "my guide and catalyst."

Payne, who is an AA sponsor, continues to grow and excel. Recently she received a degree in psychology from Piedmont College, and two years ago, she was honored by the faculty with the G. Stanley Hall Award which recognizes students'personal growth.

She is pursuing a career as a substance abuse counselor. Recently, she initiated a weekly 12-step meeting at the Pruitt House, in Lavonia, Georgia, for women who are struggling with substance abuse. "It's a safe place for women to go," she said. "When I help others, I help myself," she added.

Payne relied on that same kind of solid support from Tri-County friends and counselors when she decided to try and locate the daughter she had reluctantly given up at birth. Payne says she grappled with the gamut of emotions associated with missing her firstborn child, a daughter, born when she was 14 and whom she had given up two weeks later to an adopted family. "I was forced to give her up, and it was the hardest thing I ever did. She was on my mind always," she said.

In 1992, her daughter's birthday hit Payne unusually hard and prompted a search for the daughter she hadn't seen in 21 years.

With the help of a friend, Payne took the first step in finding her daughter by going to the library at Clemson University to learn how to search for adopted children. She wrote to the Hawaii Child and Family Services department, expecting little or no information. "It was meant to be," said Payne. Not long into the search, she received a letter indicating that her daughter was looking for her. "What are the odds that she would still be in Hawaii and would be looking for her mother?" Payne asked.

Their first conversation was via e-mail, and their relationship continued to evolve. One year later, after phone calls and e-mails, they met face to face. "The first time we saw each other we didn't know what to say. It was awkward and scary. We didn't know each other. We both had a lot of questions."

Since finding each other, they have talked on the phone every week. "We can't say enough, and we are always discovering new things about each other," said Payne. "Our relationship is wonderful, and I'm close with her adopted mother as well." Her daughter, who is in college, will graduate in December.

"It's just been one miracle after another -- getting sober, getting an education, finding my daughter. It's a good time in my life," says Payne.

"With my background, I still have to pinch myself. I've got a college education, yet I didn't think I'd ever make it. It's not been easy, but there was a determination there. I'm very grateful to all the teachers, staff and friends I have made through Tri-County Technical College, Piedmont College and through AA. Without them I wouldn't be where I am. Today I have a healthy sense of self. I am clean and sober, I have my son (who is 25) and my daughter, many people who love me, and a college degree.

"It's been a journey, and I can truly say it's been wonderful even through the struggles. It was tough, but I stuck it out. It seems like a lifetime ago. I've made leaps and bounds. I'm a different person today," she said.
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